It comes in all different shapes and sizes.
It can be good and it can be seriously evil.
You will never truly know it unless it's yours.
Remember when I made that post about everything being selfish?
Well, selfishness comes on many different levels.
And I didn't elaborate on that.
And I really, really, REALLY should have.
So here's the deal.
We all ultimately are pulled by our own emotions, which makes us selfish.
As in, we really want those last two pieces of bread for a random sandwich, but our sister didn't have lunch yet and we did, so we give her the bread, which we think is selfless, but then all of a sudden we feel this happy, brewing, bubbly feeling and realize that we did it for the happiness that comes from being nice.
That's the good side of being selfish.
The bad side is the one we all know and totally hate.
Like when both you and your roommate oversleep and wake up at 7:20. You have to be at work at 7:45 and you have to take a 10-minute walk to get there, while she has someone picking her up at 7:30. Basically, she has five less minutes than you do, but you both have to rush regardless. Usually, when you both are in a serious rush, you do everything you can to help each other. But this roommate is seriously anal. She just keeps telling you to get out of her way while explaining during her entire 10-minute rush why it's more important that she be ready first. So you're left to brush your teeth out in the hallway while she takes a crap, have to wait two whole minutes for her to be finished stealing your brush, are pushed away from washing your hands in the sink after peeing so she can rinse her face off, and are consequently five minutes late, while she makes it to her carpool right on time.
This happened to me today, in case you couldn't tell.
And it's not the first time.
People have to really watch it when they're being selfish. It's oh-so-nice when you tell others how you want to be a doctor when you're older so you can save lives and then they all go and fawn over you, but let's face it, we know you want the money. And that's what people do everyday--they smile and wave and say good morning, but let's face it, we know they just want to be praised. Because they just go back to being assholes behind closed doors.
Showing posts with label stubbornness. Show all posts
Showing posts with label stubbornness. Show all posts
Friday, March 13, 2009
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
You don't know everything.
No one does. We're only human. Just as God holds the mysteries of the universe, each person has their own way of working and their own thoughts, and not everyone else has to understand them.
See, I can be forgetful at times. I have a seriously sharp memory; chances are if I don't remember it, it didn't happen to me. But when it comes to people telling me to do things or having to remember specific ideas, it's not so easy. I do have A.D.D., so when I am told one thing after the other, I get distracted doing one and then get carried away... you know how the story goes.
So apparently, I was supposed to call someone this week. My parents kept nagging me about it, but, you know, they're my parents. I don't really put their instructions in the forefront of my mind when I have to remember things that pertain to my being alive, so I kind of let it fall by the wayside.
The problem, though, is that this happens quite often; I get really busy and forget to do what my parents tell me to do. So today, my dad got pretty fed up with it.
"I don't understand how you can just forget to call her," he said. "Why is it so hard to remember? Or set a reminder in your phone? Or write it down? Something!"
"Well," I told him, "believe it or not, I do have other things I need to remember that take precedence. And my phone's reminder system stinks; it's not meant to be an organizer at all. And write it down?! Where? I'd lose the paper in two seconds."
At this point, my dad got really frustrated. I told him I didn't understand; he also has memory issues. Not like Alzheimer's or anything--he's not that old--but the same kind of issues that I have. So I thought that he, of all people, would understand. But no. He kept going on about how I need to "fix it".
I kept telling him that it's just me, and there's not much to do about it; that I just get distracted a lot of the time or have more important things to worry about, but he would have none of it.
"I'm sorry," I told him, "but my brain is not just some broken part I can fix."
Out of frustration, he went, "Yes. It is. It's broken. FIX IT."
After that, I marched out, fuming. My brain is not a broken part, or even a broken arm/limb. I think since it's just a vital organ, I have to face it, like the broken heart. And so does everyone else. But, apparently, since it's just "unfathomable", my parents don't want to face it.
Just because you don't understand what's going through someone's head does NOT mean that there's something to "fix". I really don't understand why I know that and my parents, who are way older than I am and therefore supposedly wiser, do not.
See, I can be forgetful at times. I have a seriously sharp memory; chances are if I don't remember it, it didn't happen to me. But when it comes to people telling me to do things or having to remember specific ideas, it's not so easy. I do have A.D.D., so when I am told one thing after the other, I get distracted doing one and then get carried away... you know how the story goes.
So apparently, I was supposed to call someone this week. My parents kept nagging me about it, but, you know, they're my parents. I don't really put their instructions in the forefront of my mind when I have to remember things that pertain to my being alive, so I kind of let it fall by the wayside.
The problem, though, is that this happens quite often; I get really busy and forget to do what my parents tell me to do. So today, my dad got pretty fed up with it.
"I don't understand how you can just forget to call her," he said. "Why is it so hard to remember? Or set a reminder in your phone? Or write it down? Something!"
"Well," I told him, "believe it or not, I do have other things I need to remember that take precedence. And my phone's reminder system stinks; it's not meant to be an organizer at all. And write it down?! Where? I'd lose the paper in two seconds."
At this point, my dad got really frustrated. I told him I didn't understand; he also has memory issues. Not like Alzheimer's or anything--he's not that old--but the same kind of issues that I have. So I thought that he, of all people, would understand. But no. He kept going on about how I need to "fix it".
I kept telling him that it's just me, and there's not much to do about it; that I just get distracted a lot of the time or have more important things to worry about, but he would have none of it.
"I'm sorry," I told him, "but my brain is not just some broken part I can fix."
Out of frustration, he went, "Yes. It is. It's broken. FIX IT."
After that, I marched out, fuming. My brain is not a broken part, or even a broken arm/limb. I think since it's just a vital organ, I have to face it, like the broken heart. And so does everyone else. But, apparently, since it's just "unfathomable", my parents don't want to face it.
Just because you don't understand what's going through someone's head does NOT mean that there's something to "fix". I really don't understand why I know that and my parents, who are way older than I am and therefore supposedly wiser, do not.
It's no use being stubborn.
Want to know why?
Let's say you have a relative in school. This relative is extraordinarily bright, and you think he can do anything he sets his mind to. He is in every single challenging class there is, and there is no way he can fail.
Until he does.
When he tells you he thinks he can't handle one of the classes anymore, you say, "Don't be stupid! You're so good at it. So you failed. Why?! Just try harder! You can do it!" Truth is, he hasn't exactly been trying his hardest, so he nods grimly and decides to go for it again.
Yet again, he's not doing well in that same class. You don't see him trying too hard, but he tells you he stresses out and does a lot of work; you just don't see it since you're not in school. After all, you're not attached at the hip or the same age or anything; you're already out of school, and you lived it very differently. You just wish that you had taken all the challenging courses because it would have made your life path better, so you advise him to do so. He complies again.
Three years later, he's taking the continuations of those same courses. He still can't do well in that one he always complains about. You tell him to just try, for crying out loud! After arguing, he grumbles and goes back to it.
The next week, you go over to visit him and he tells you that you have to leave; he's been studying all day for this test and needs to finally do well. Maybe this try will be different; maybe he'll do better. You beg him to stay; you're two hours away from home, if you could just sit and watch TV across the house without bothering him for a little bit, you'd be okay. He obliges. You keep sneaking peeks at him the entire time you're there; he's really killing himself over this test. When you finally leave, you feel so happy that you've finally seen him trying and are sure he will succeed.
A few days later, he calls you, fuming. "I completely bombed that last test," he says. "I just don't know why. I studied for hours. I swear, those tests are impossibly hard."
And then it hits you.
Maybe he just isn't suited to take that class.
You tell him this, and in an angry rage he says, "Well, DUHHH. That's what I've been trying to tell you for the past three years!"
And you didn't listen and kept encouraging him to do the impossible.
You know, it's great to encourage people, but when they keep failing, you just have to let it be and have them take a step down, because sometimes, they're just not ready.
Take this to heart before you learn it the hard way.
Let's say you have a relative in school. This relative is extraordinarily bright, and you think he can do anything he sets his mind to. He is in every single challenging class there is, and there is no way he can fail.
Until he does.
When he tells you he thinks he can't handle one of the classes anymore, you say, "Don't be stupid! You're so good at it. So you failed. Why?! Just try harder! You can do it!" Truth is, he hasn't exactly been trying his hardest, so he nods grimly and decides to go for it again.
Yet again, he's not doing well in that same class. You don't see him trying too hard, but he tells you he stresses out and does a lot of work; you just don't see it since you're not in school. After all, you're not attached at the hip or the same age or anything; you're already out of school, and you lived it very differently. You just wish that you had taken all the challenging courses because it would have made your life path better, so you advise him to do so. He complies again.
Three years later, he's taking the continuations of those same courses. He still can't do well in that one he always complains about. You tell him to just try, for crying out loud! After arguing, he grumbles and goes back to it.
The next week, you go over to visit him and he tells you that you have to leave; he's been studying all day for this test and needs to finally do well. Maybe this try will be different; maybe he'll do better. You beg him to stay; you're two hours away from home, if you could just sit and watch TV across the house without bothering him for a little bit, you'd be okay. He obliges. You keep sneaking peeks at him the entire time you're there; he's really killing himself over this test. When you finally leave, you feel so happy that you've finally seen him trying and are sure he will succeed.
A few days later, he calls you, fuming. "I completely bombed that last test," he says. "I just don't know why. I studied for hours. I swear, those tests are impossibly hard."
And then it hits you.
Maybe he just isn't suited to take that class.
You tell him this, and in an angry rage he says, "Well, DUHHH. That's what I've been trying to tell you for the past three years!"
And you didn't listen and kept encouraging him to do the impossible.
You know, it's great to encourage people, but when they keep failing, you just have to let it be and have them take a step down, because sometimes, they're just not ready.
Take this to heart before you learn it the hard way.
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